Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I think we might need a safe word for this...
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
