so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
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