i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
