Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
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he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
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I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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