Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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