You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
honey bunches of taint.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Randomize
