guys are only as good as the porn they watch
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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