i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
