she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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