shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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