i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
