So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
