1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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