nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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