i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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