good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
