the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
