That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
