is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
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Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
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She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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