would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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