i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
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What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
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My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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