I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
