your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
