And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
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Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
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That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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