We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
