hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
