these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize