So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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