Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
