Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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