so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
