I wannas sexs uuuuu
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
There are leaves in my underwear?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
