just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
