You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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