"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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