Have you finally orgasmed yet?
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
