This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
