The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
