new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
