I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
