weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Just cropdusted the office
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
A bitchslap is in order.
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