I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
