I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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