He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
