i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
