Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
