i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
