everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
