sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
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We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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