I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
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my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
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I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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