At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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