It's Friday. Sex?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
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Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
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Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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