going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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