I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
