so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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