Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
