Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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