Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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