sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
