I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
