I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
