there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
