HIV tests are more positive than that guy
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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